COSTELLO CALLS TO BUY A COMPUTER FROM ABBOTT
ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?
COSTELLO:
Thanks. I'm setting up an office in my den and I'm thinking about buying a
computer.
ABBOTT: Mac?
COSTELLO: No, the name's Lou.
ABBOTT: Your
computer?
COSTELLO: I don't own a computer. I want to buy one.
ABBOTT:
Mac?
COSTELLO: I told you, my name's Lou.
ABBOTT: What about
Windows?
COSTELLO: Why? Will it get stuffy in here?
ABBOTT: Do you want a
computer with Windows?
COSTELLO: I don't know. What will I see when I look at
the windows?
ABBOTT: Wallpaper.
COSTELLO: Never mind the windows. I need a
computer and software.
ABBOTT: Software for Windows?
COSTELLO: No. On the
computer! I need something I can use to write proposals and track expenses and
run my business. What do you have?
ABBOTT: Office.
COSTELLO: Yeah, for my
office. Can you recommend anything?
ABBOTT: I just did.
COSTELLO: You just
did what?
ABBOTT: Recommend something.
COSTELLO: You recommended
something?
ABBOTT: Yes.
COSTELLO: For my office?
ABBOTT:
Yes.
COSTELLO: OK, what did you recommend for my office?
ABBOTT:
Office.
COSTELLO: Yes, for my office!
ABBOTT: I recommend Office with
Windows.
COSTELLO: I already have an office with windows! OK, let's just say
I'm sitting at my computer and I want to type a proposal. What do I
need?
ABBOTT: Word.
COSTELLO: What word?
ABBOTT: Word in
Office.
COSTELLO: The only word in office is office.
ABBOTT: The Word in
Office for Windows.
COSTELLO: Which word in office for windows?
ABBOTT:
The Word you get when you click the blue "W".
COSTELLO: I'm going to click
your blue "w" if you don't start with some straight answers. What about
financial bookkeeping? You have anything I can track my money with?
ABBOTT:
Money.
COSTELLO: That's right. What do you have?
ABBOTT:
Money.
COSTELLO: I need money to track my money?
ABBOTT: It comes bundled
with your computer.
COSTELLO: What's bundled with my computer?
ABBOTT:
Money.
COSTELLO: Money comes with my computer?
ABBOTT: Yes. No extra
charge.
COSTELLO: I get a bundle of money with my computer? How
much?
ABBOTT: One copy.
COSTELLO: Isn't it illegal to copy
money?
ABBOTT: Microsoft gave us a license to copy Money.
COSTELLO: They
can give you a license to copy money?
ABBOTT: Why not? THEY OWN IT!
(A few days later)
ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?
COSTELLO: How do
I turn my computer off?
ABBOTT: Click on "START